Building Ties

Another milestone has gone by.  Tomorrow marks two months since I left home, but as of this past week, I’ve been in Tenom for a month.  I can start to tell there’s a change here.  I’ve begun to settle in and connect with my church family and community around me.  The novelty of having an American around has started to wear off, but the welcome and the love still remains (actually, I’d say it’s grown).  I think this realization hit me in church this morning when I was thinking back to my first Sunday here.  There might as well have been a spotlight over my seat.  Any time I looked around, there were stares back at me.  I have to say, it was something I wasn’t used to.  Were people really starting at me because of the color of my skin and the fact that I was an obvious stranger in their midst?  Was this going to be an obstacle for me?  How was I going to get to know people if they were so shy around me? 

Luckily, there were some bolder people who gave a great gift to me.  They came forward and gave me the chance to know them.  It’s something that I really see as a God thing.  This is something that is far better than any conversation I could have initiated or anything I tried to build on my own.  In return, I shared who I was and that there was more to me than just being American.  Gradually, more and more people followed suit.  And I felt bolder to move past formalities and greetings.  Over a month, I have moved past first meetings and have been amazed as relationships have taken root.  I’m catching up with people rather than meeting them for the first time. 

Granted, there are still daily reminders that I’m new.  I still have random people honk their horns at me in the street or the person who stares at me when I walk by.  I run into situations that are different than anything I’ve encountered, but it feels different now.  It feels better now.  There are people I can reach out to in those times and having the experience together only deepens the relationship.  Sitting in church, I don’t feel as conspicuous, but rather I feel like I belong with the group.  I have to say, I’m glad the novelty has worn off some.  It serves to reaffirm that the love and welcome is what I thought it was all along: genuine.  There’s still so much to learn and so many ways these relationships can be deeper, but I have hope for what’s to come.  If I can feel so much better about where I am in the month I’ve been here, the idea of what will happen in the coming year is exciting.