Sabah Kind of Christmas

I wanted to share some thoughts about the holidays that are also mentioned in my December newsletter back home.  Enjoy!

As I write this, it’s Christmas Eve and I can’t help but look back on what December has brought my way here in Tenom.  I remember thinking on the airplane back from the YAGM Malaysia November retreat that a small part of me dreaded the holidays.  I had been trying to tell myself to let go and see what happens around me, but I still had this nagging feeling that the holidays would make homesickness a challenge.  But I kept telling myself to stop focusing on what I was missing.  This might be a whole new kind of Christmas if I would just allow myself to be in the moment of everything around me.

While in college I worked as a camp counselor at Lutheridge in Arden, NC.  Every year we would celebrate Christmas in July week.  Though the summer temperatures would soar and there was no snow or any of the other commercialism that comes with Christmas, at the end of the week, we would celebrate Christmas Eve and it would feel just as amazing as Christmas in December.  In some ways, I have realized that celebrating Christmas in July prepared me for celebrating Christmas in Sabah.  

There’s a great deal less commercialism that comes with the holidays here in Tenom.  Ok, G-Mart and Bestamart, the two supermarkets in town put up decorations around December 1^st and there are decorations is a few of the stores, but I have come to appreciate not being bombarded by commercials.  The temperatures still feel like summer and there’s no chance of a white Christmas (no matter how many times the youth sing “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”).  But I have come to realize that having all my expectations for what Christmas should be wiped clean has made room for me to appreciate how we celebrate in Tenom in a whole new way.

As we’ve planned events and celebrated in anticipation at church, I have come to see the family that has built up around me.  In the absence of the mad Christmas rush and the routine of traditions that I’m used to, I’ve found some God moments in the Advent season that add deeper meaning to the celebrations.  At first I missed the Christmas ‘buzz’ that surrounded the month of December, but I’ve found moments of joy with my community that have grown to fill the days. 

I started this month feeling a nagging dread that I was not going to enjoy the holidays as much, but that dread has turned to joy and anticipation.  This journey has truly been God’s way of stepping in and providing a peace that I needed.  So with this peace, I look forward to celebrating Immanuel the gift of Christ to the world.  May you experience God with you this Christmas and throughout the year.  Peace!

Love Meets Love...Extreme Caroling 2012

If you ever want to experience Christmas caroling taken to the next level, do take a look at Tenom.  Someone was incredibly ambitious and scheduled the youth to go caroling at approximately 80 homes over the span of a week.  We’ve practiced songs weeks in advance to the point that BM lyrics for traditional songs jump to my mind before English ones.  We’ve ordered polo shirts for the occasion (very classy).  And, we’ve gone everywhere (across the creek and through the jungle).  I had no idea that the church bus could handle so much off-roading.  I also had no idea that we could squeeze 25 people inside, but hey, everyone just yells “BOLEH!” (can) and makes it happen.  So as Extreme Caroling day 5 comes to a close, I wanted to share some thoughts. 

The youth have brought an incredible amount of love and enthusiasm to every house we’ve gone to.  And we do manage to go many places.  No house is too far out or too isolated for us to reach.  If it’s on the list, we find a way to make it there.  There have been some times I didn’t know how we’d make it, but we found a way whether it’s through rain or rough roads (kudos to our amazing bus driver).  At every house, we share a mini-program with the family complete with a greeting, prayer, a couple of songs, a Bible passage, and “Selamat Hari Natal” (aka “We Wish You a Merry Christmas) in Bahasa Malayu, English, Chinese, or Murut.  Even though we’ve done this routine at least 8 times each of the past 5 nights, the youth come and share as if each house is the very first house.  Just because we happen to be at the eighth house of the night doesn’t mean that the family there is any less important.  This incredible love has been met each time with an incredible welcome.  Some families live in neighborhoods where everyone has AC, a couple of TVs and spacious homes.  Some families live in kampungs with homes that have floors of bamboo or wood.  Some places have electricity while others are lit by lantern.  But all the people receive us with joy.  In the village, children stand on their porches and listen as we go from house to house, gradually getting closer to theirs.  People invite us inside and sing along to the music. 

Tonight, one instance stuck out to me.  At about the fifth house, we climbed up inside the common room of a home where at least nine people lived.  The place was lit with just one electric lantern and we needed our flashlights to see the music.  During the first song, I saw one woman sitting with her eyes closed, singing along to the music and swaying to the rhythm.  The look on her face showed she was savoring every moment.  When we shook hands to leave, she held everyone’s hand just a bit longer.  It hit me then that this was far more than just a ten-minute program for her.  She was holding each second and fully taking in the time we spent there.  I can’t speak for her and say what that moment meant, but there was something in that time where the love of the carolers met the love and welcome of the people we visited.  It’s one of those times when you put every ounce of love into what you do and leave the rest up to God.  My hope is that as we’ve gone out this week, we’ve been a blessing to everyone we’ve met.  I know the people I’ve gone with and the people I’ve met have been blessing in yet again helping me experience those God moments. 

Abundant days...

 

Just to let you know, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth, but after being away for retreat with my fellow Malaysia YAGM in Singapore and Kuala Lumpur, I was left with a lot to think through and process.  We learned a lot about the history of Malaysia and Singapore that helps to make sense in what we see everyday.  But what I saw around me left me with many questions that I take with me as I continue to experience what goes on.  (Still have things that I’m grappling with, but these questions will probably surface in later blogs.) 

But one of the highlights of retreat for me was Thanksgiving dinner.  I admit, I’ve been wondering how I’m going to take the holidays and this was my first Thanksgiving away from my family.  However, by the time retreat came around, I figured it would be ok even if we had a dinner with nothing like anything I had ever eaten in my entire life.  Sharing time with my fellow YAGM would be enough.  But dinner surpassed any expectations I could have possibly had.  Our hosts, members of the Lutheran Church in Malaysia, had never made Thanksgiving dinner, but it turned out wonderfully.  I didn’t know that we would come in to eat and see baked chicken, mashed potatoes, vegetables, lasagna, garlic bread, and apple pie.  One of our hosts told us, “I didn’t know what to do so I just started with typing ‘Thanksgiving dinner’ into Google.”  But there was more to this dinner than tucking in to some great, familiar food.  Though the food was what some might refer to as traditional, there was a newness to this long-held pastime.  Here we were gathered with friends that we had just met and friends that we hadn’t seen in a while and making it a shared meal of our own.  Many people gather around the Thanksgiving table with people they have known their whole lives, but we were with new friends.  I think it was one of those God moments where the conversation flows and you feel like you’ve known everyone much longer.  

It's in these kinds of moments that I think accompaniment with one another is really magnified.  This was a time when our hosts met us in making a wonderful meal for Thanksgiving.  They took the time to prepare a meal they had never been a part of before.  And we had the joy of sitting side-by-side and swapping stories, jokes, and insights.  At the same time, we asked questions of each other and learned.  The holidays can be a great opportunity for deepening relationships as we walk with many different communities.  It can be a time where we share long-held traditions and maybe even  walk away with some of our personal practices for the holidays somewhat changed.  

As I prepare for Christmas (yes, we’re already making plans at church), I hold these feelings from Thanksgiving close.  This will also be my first Christmas away from my family and I admit, thinking about it brings on some feelings of homesickness.  This is one of those not so easy things that I considered when I applied for YAGM, but didn’t know what to expect.  But this past Thanksgiving gives me hope. I was apprehensive about how I was going to feel and yet, I found God’s abundance in a meal shared with new friends.  It gives me hope to look toward Christmas and the experiences I will have with my own community this year. 

Come! Eat!

After nearly two months here in Tenom, I suppose it's about time that I fill you in on one of my favorite spots to eat, there's a restaurant in Food Court Tenom run by two of the members of the church, Auntie Siami and Auntie Ina. (In Malaysia, anyone who is the age of your parents is usually referred to by the affectionate term "Auntie" or "Uncle" regardless of whether or not you are actually related to them and even if you have never met them in your life.)  The restaurant is situated on the opposite end of town from my house about ten minutes away, but is near the market so I end up walking by quite a bit.  It's an open air spot that shares a lot with about three other restaurants and opens right out to the street.  Most days I can sit down under the cover and catch a decent breeze while I wait.  The food alone would be reason enough to call this place my favorite.  Sometimes I order and sometimes Auntie Ina or Auntie Siami will just bring out a dish they think I will like and tell me what it's called.  (I've really expanded my tastes this way.)  But it's the people here that make this spot a little oasis and refuge for me.  The other day, I was walking by myself down the street trying to remember what was in the refrigerator back at the house and wondering what I was going to make for lunch when I heard someone call my name.  I looked up to see Auntie Siami standing on the sidewalk across the street motioning for me to come over.  "Masuk! Masuk!" (Come in! Come in!)  "Rebecca, Kamu suda makan?" (Have you eaten?)  When I told her no, she steered me to a table and said, "Daduk!  Kamu ada mee sup."  (Sit down.  You have noodle soup.)  This wasn't a question that I could say no to, but it also wasn't forceful.  Auntie Siami and Auntie Ina saw that I was out by myself and jumped on an opportunity to serve.  They took it upon themselves to care for me.  Someone could have just as easily waved as I walked by and things would have been fine, but they wanted to share time with me and provide.  Right away, they came over with soup and iced coffee (which is what I like to get when I go over).  Despite the fact that it was lunch hour, Auntie Ina, Auntied Siami, or both of them would sit and talk while I ate.  As I got up to leave, they insisted that I not pay.  This meal was their gift.  Their kindness was the highlight of my morning.

Thing is, this is not an uncommon occurrence,  my housemate, Irene, and I often go there to relax after walking around and catch up on what's going on with people.  Sometimes they let us pay.  But obviously, the free meals and the good food aren't the reason why I look forward to stopping by.  It's the feeling you get when you sit around your own living room with your friends.  It's a place where I can sit down and just be for a while. 

Building Ties

Another milestone has gone by.  Tomorrow marks two months since I left home, but as of this past week, I’ve been in Tenom for a month.  I can start to tell there’s a change here.  I’ve begun to settle in and connect with my church family and community around me.  The novelty of having an American around has started to wear off, but the welcome and the love still remains (actually, I’d say it’s grown).  I think this realization hit me in church this morning when I was thinking back to my first Sunday here.  There might as well have been a spotlight over my seat.  Any time I looked around, there were stares back at me.  I have to say, it was something I wasn’t used to.  Were people really starting at me because of the color of my skin and the fact that I was an obvious stranger in their midst?  Was this going to be an obstacle for me?  How was I going to get to know people if they were so shy around me? 

Luckily, there were some bolder people who gave a great gift to me.  They came forward and gave me the chance to know them.  It’s something that I really see as a God thing.  This is something that is far better than any conversation I could have initiated or anything I tried to build on my own.  In return, I shared who I was and that there was more to me than just being American.  Gradually, more and more people followed suit.  And I felt bolder to move past formalities and greetings.  Over a month, I have moved past first meetings and have been amazed as relationships have taken root.  I’m catching up with people rather than meeting them for the first time. 

Granted, there are still daily reminders that I’m new.  I still have random people honk their horns at me in the street or the person who stares at me when I walk by.  I run into situations that are different than anything I’ve encountered, but it feels different now.  It feels better now.  There are people I can reach out to in those times and having the experience together only deepens the relationship.  Sitting in church, I don’t feel as conspicuous, but rather I feel like I belong with the group.  I have to say, I’m glad the novelty has worn off some.  It serves to reaffirm that the love and welcome is what I thought it was all along: genuine.  There’s still so much to learn and so many ways these relationships can be deeper, but I have hope for what’s to come.  If I can feel so much better about where I am in the month I’ve been here, the idea of what will happen in the coming year is exciting.

Sabah time...

It seems that lately, time has been on my mind as I process what’s been going on here in Tenom.  On a day to day basis, time seems to go snail’s pace one minute and leap into hyper speed the next. Even when I look at my schedule, it seems that way.  The beginning of the week sets off at a leisurely pace with English lessons and the end of the week is filled with more lessons, more to do, and soon, choir rehearsals (Yes, I will have choir back in my life! I’m helping out with the Tenom Youth Choir.)  Long story short, I find myself wondering at the end of the day, “Were all the hours actually sixty minutes long?  Some could have only been 20.  Some could have been 90.” 

All this thinking about time takes me back to Greek classes in college when we talked about kairos (καιρὀς) time and chronos time (χρόνος).  Chronos time is the measured time.  Sixty seconds in a minute, sixty minutes in an hour.  Kairos time is living in God’s time.  Things happen according to God’s time.  As long as I’ve been in school, I’ve been focused on the chronos time.  I wrote papers before a particular due date, I woke up at a certain time everyday in order to be on time to class.  I lived by a pretty strict and repetitive schedule from week to week. 

But my time here has made me adjust and tune in to what God’s time is.  Meetings don’t start at a strict time, they start when everyone has gathered and had time to greet one another.  Often, plans are made at the drop of a hat and everyone figures out how to make it work.  On the other hand, someone may decide that if you look a bit tired, it’s time to take care of yourself and take a short break before heading back to work.  I’ve found that breaking off the chronos time has made me realize that I really do have all the time I need.  I may be rushing to make last minute plans on an English lesson, but someone is there to help out.  I may feel like I don’t need rest and that the afternoon is going by entirely too slow, but that I have the time to reflect and unpack more than I thought I did.  Or maybe, it’s the perfect time for someone to drop in for a visit and we end up talking all afternoon.  In the end, I end up appreciating all that time that I didn’t think I needed.  For me, moving into the kairos time has meant holding each moment for as long as a I have it and realizing that some of those moments will be short and fleeting as they need to be while others will stretch out for me.  Some may call this strange pace, this living from moment to moment and taking the time to leisurely stroll to each one, Sabah time. But I think it’s deeper.  I think it’s God time. 

Hopping the Language Barrier

It’s hard to believe that a month ago, I was packing my bags and leaving Chicago.  After a looooong flight to Seoul and then another flight to Kota Kinabalu, I would find myself in a totally new world.  A month later, that world is gradually becoming my home for the year.  I think one of the greatest challenges that I’ve wrestled with is wanting to get a handle on the language.  I certainly try to pick up new words every day, but I also constantly want to know more.  I want to speak with people and ask them questions.  I simply want to find out the news and know what’s going on and how people are doing.  There are many a time when I sit in a room and hear full conversations and only understand a few words.  Sometimes I just wish I could get it!  On top of that, it feels like not knowing much about what’s being said around me is a constant reminder of how much I don’t know. 

But I think that over my time here so far, one of my greatest struggles is also the way in which God has been showing me other ways that people communicate love.  Before I departed from KK, one of my fellow YAGMs, Ashley, lent me a book called The Five Love Languages.  Essentially, it discusses the way that people feel that they are loved.  These ways include words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch.  Considering these ways helped me to see how my community has been welcoming me and loving me even when I don’t always know what they’re saying.  They have made an effort to hop the language barrier when words fail.  There have been many meals, handshakes, games of cards, offers to sit down a while and rest, and many other little things that build up and amount to a warm welcome.  The people here have been accompanying me and meeting me where I am to show me through all the ins and outs of culture and life here and help me to adjust.  Seeing them get around language has made me stop and consider the ways that I can express love even if I can’t speak.  How to I let those around me know that I deeply appreciate all that they do for me?  How do I share myself without words?  The language will come in time, but I just have to speak out and let them know what I know.  I’ll pick it up and I know that they’ll be glad to help me along the way.  In the meantime, we’ll just keep hopping the language barrier and reaching out in love.